#they bring you to acceptance

[psalmsofpsychosis]

Good evening, fellow adhd-haver here! there's... a lot of shoulds and should nots and ideas in here that dont align with your actual reality really, and just because your ideas and notions around what you want your life to look like and what you want to be doing and what you want to enjoy (or dont) come from yourself, supposedly, rather than societal frameworks around "what is the correct way to live", doesn't make your mental structure and your internal emotional landscape any less ineffective or sabotaging to you.

What you wrote has an undercurrent of frustration and hurt and it really doesn't matter whether you chose your ideas yourself or if they're social hand-downs; the things is, your mentality simply isn't lining up with your limitations and capabilities at the moment and you dont have effective methods in place yet to harness your specific strengths and weaknesses, so you just feel awful about it, which is okay. But it's not necessarily how you have to go about it.

My dishes pile up and i sometimes get moldy pans in the fridge for months on end that i forget about, and i have a hard time focusing on many things i love sometimes, and it does bring up a lot of sadness for me, but i dont see ADHD as an illness or a deficiency, it is a different set of gifts, gifts that society at large isn't generally structured to accomodate or make good use of. But they're gifts nonetheless, just misplaced. If you bring a $20k handmade japanese kitchen knife to a mechanic's shop it's gonna feel like an absolutely incoherent and useless and possibly frustrating addition to the space because the tool is not suited to the tasks and skills carried out in there and it can even get in the way and become troublesome, the japanese knife doesn't belong here. That doesn't make it any less valuable and worthy a tool, it just means it's brought to the wrong context.

I dont feel guilt or shame about my dishes piling up and i dont feel bad about the dust on my desk or the fact that i can't focus on my favourite stuff, even though i want to, because i know that while i might feel shitty about these things sometimes, i also have gifts that fit perfectly in their right contexts and i can enjoy them there, and the frustration means i gotta switch, even if it's just for 10 minutes. Bring the japanese kitchen knife to kitchen and you feel fucking good about how well it works and how much it makes cooking easier and more efficient and how much the whole endeavor brings you joy.

It's absolutely alright if you havent found a kitchen where your knife fits yet, it takes time, and you need contexts where the knife fits. It makes the sadness you experience over not being able to attend to your other wants and shoulds and should nots easier. And yep, there's sadness and anger and grief in it. But that doesn't mean that all you have is an illness or deficiency. You're not a problem, you're severely misplaced in your environment, and it brings up so much frustration and it's okay to feel sad about it. Keep what you want to do, but you can also find where your gifs do belong and enjoy applying them there. It's not a this OR that situation, it's this AND that. You're gonna feel bad about sometimes not being able to focus on stuff you love, AND you're gonna apply your strengths in other situations where they're needed and appreciated and where it brings you joy.

I don't strictly "like" taking ADHD meds, the comedown is awful and they play havoc on my appetite. But I kinda need them. I write software for a living. Software requires a great deal of focus that I simply cannot muster up off my meds. If I didn't have my meds, I would lose my job.

Part of this can be blamed on the cruelties of our modern capitalistic system. If the world understood my condition better, maybe I would not need to take stimulants to survive. I read an article once that really went all in on the idea that ADHD's negative perception is a symptom of perception, not an objective truth. Maybe people with ADHD are just as capable, but they do things in a different way to neurotypicals. Maybe all we need is better support, and social solutions, and more understanding of the different way that ADHDers think.

Which is all very compelling. Except.

I often find myself procrastinating activities that I want to do. My apartment has been accumulating dust because I keep forgetting to vacuum. One time I let the dishes in my sink stack too high and it was months before I could get myself to clean the mould off them. The demands of capitalism mean I need to software to pay rent, but sometimes I just want to do software, and no amount of narrative reframing or social support will clear the noise in my head long enough to let me focus on the code.

The notion that ADHD isn't a deficiency, just a different way of thinking, is something I find condescending. The implication here is I shouldn't have to write software, I should be given a different job, and I shouldn't have to maintain my own apartment, I should have the support of my community coming into my room and cleaning my things. But what if I want to do those things? What if I like software, or the privacy of an atomised existence? Maybe society has no right to decide what the correct way to live my life is, but surely I do!

The reason it sucks that it's hard for me to keep my dishes clean is not because the world says so, it is because I say so. It is because sometimes I want to be able to remember to do things and it sucks that I cannot live my life in the way that I want.

[theribbajack]

"Now, the vow will be honoured, and my Lord brother's soul will return."

Radahn stans keep winning, but I personally am in Miyazaki's walls rn

[spookbooh]

please do kinich?

[KINICH X OBLIVIOUS READER]

In which you misunderstand his need to pay you back. ♡

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“ψ (｀∇´) ψ

Again, Kinich left to the peaks of Coatepec Mountain for the 10th time this week. It’s like he took on 10 times his usual rate of commission with how much he has been away recently. At first, you thought that maybe he lowered his prices and now people were flooding him with tasks and errands he could do fast and efficiently- but after speaking with the tribe members of the Scions of the Canopy, you learned this was not the truth at all. In fact, Kinich was quite free of commissions as of late- with the arrival of new friendly faces from afar and their low rates for their own charges. So why was he leaving so terribly often? It was like every time you went to see him, he would leave in a matter of hours. This left you two options.

Option 1: He was tending to a personal matter. Though unlikely, he could be out gathering supplies for a personal project or event for himself. He definitely wasn’t the type, though- especially with how much Ajaw had been complaining as of late. So that left you with option 2: He was avoiding you.

It was strange, you thought, that he left after you would go visit him. Ever since you hired him for a simple commission of gathering Quenepa berries- you felt like you two had become good friends over the weeks. However his disappearances were more and more frequent.

The first time you noticed it after you had come to visit him after a commission that had him away for 2 days. He had come back with scrapes and scratches so you helped him bandage his wounds to make sure they weren’t infected, as you didn’t mind helping him. But then he left a few hours later and returned late at night with Quenepa berries for you. You assumed it was to excuse what he had really been doing, whatever the case.

So it became a strange routine. He would take a commission, you would visit him after and bandage his wounds- gently wrapping his tanned skin in soft cloth and ailment to keep from infection and then he would leave once again before bringing you foraged materials like flowers or berries or even brilliant chrysanthemum. It was an odd behavior to you and to fellow Scion tribe members. Some suggested that he was avoiding you, while some just said to leave it be since Kinich was quite respected in his tribe and no one wanted to get in his bad graces by spreading such rumors, especially to someone he might consider a friend.

So all that was left was you to your thoughts. It didn’t help that you still had this stuck on your mind while you were bandaging Kinich’s torso from his most recent commission where he had run to an antagonized Saurian and gotten quite the scratch on his stomach from it. Although the moment felt very intimate, you were too distracted to notice Kinich’s heart racing under your touch.

“AURGH!! Why must we go out AGAIN, Kinich?! The Great K’uhul Ajaw has MUCH better things to be doing than lugging around with our lowly servant all the time!”

Kinich was still a little dazed from you bandaging his stomach wound just 2 hours before, but was conscious enough to tune out Ajaw per usual- including the sharp yelp he made when Kinich grabbed his tail mid-air to scout the area for materials.

“What should I repay them with this time…?”

Perhaps in his mind, paying his dues to you would encourage you to take care of him more often… at least, it seemed to be working so far.

— Written by Booh ♡

[redysetdare]

I wholeheartedly believe that the last thing that should be said in response to aspecs hating their identity is "don't worry! Aspecs can still do X, Y, and Z" and I'm so fucking serious about this.

The least helpful thing you can do to someone who have not accepted their aspec identity yet is give them ways to compensate for it. If an aspec person is upset over not being able to enter a romantic relationship, the last thing that should be done is to tell them they can still enter one or instead enter a QPR - not because that's not true but because that is quite literally going to stunt their ability to accept their aspec identity. Telling them they can instead enter a QPR when they're upset over the lack of romantic relationships is at MOST a bandaid for the main issue. Instead of them coming to accept their identity and accept who they are you have instead handed them an amatonormative alternative on a silver platter that allows them to pretend they still fit into amatonormativity without every deconstructing it. This is how we get QPRs getting shoved into an amatonormative framework - these people NEVER got over the "I'm sad that I'm aspec" phase because they were handed alternatives instead of given actual support in deconstructing their internalized aphobia, self hatred, and amatonormative biases.

[moderndaypandora]

i recognize that simon and edwin meeting and parting in hell is narratively very good and provides closure for all. but imagine if simon had agreed to try and escape with edwin. and charles doesn't have time to really question it, because anybody who likes edwin is aces in his book and it's hell, they need to leave. (edwin, out of courtesy to their third companion, puts his plan to confess on hold until they've escaped.)

suddenly the edwin harem of "supernatural boys who all hate each other but are attracted to that negative rizz" gains another member, and at some point edwin is going to have to mention that simon was the boy who sacrificed him to hell.

the chaos. crystal's bitchy commentary. charles going from friendly smiling to clutching his cricket bat. niko's whispering "200k slow burn schoolboy rivals to lovers" with heart eyes. it'd be chef's kiss good. edwin fleeing to his books and praying that nobody, but especially not the cat king, finds him because there has been SO MUCH emotion already. hysterical.

[in-kyblogs]

Louis De Pointe Du Lac + why he needed the second interview || Interview With The Vampire (2022)

[cubbihue]

Has AJ and Chester ever secretly talked to each other about how off it feels with ‘Timmy’ after he came back? Do they wonder why he is so odd even though he is in general the same?

They can’t question it much, right? Since it IS Timmy. Just not the same Timmy they used to know.

They've had discussions. AJ and Chester has picked up how Timmy's... changed somewhat. He doesn't initiate conversations as often, he doesn't create schemes as he used to, and worst of all- Timmy doesn't laugh at their jokes!!!

But his cheer and optimism has never left, and he's still overeager to do all sorts of things with them!!! AJ and Chester chalks it up to Timmy growing up faster than they are. They did their best to slow him down to their pace though.

Bitties Series: [Start] > [Previous] > [Next]

[rassicas]

i have one video i've been wanting to make about a certain splatoon lore topic so badly for some years now and i wanna do it soon. but every time i think about it i can feel myself going insane. there's so much i need to say. how do i structure this in a way that makes sense. does it even make sense at all. to me? god help me

[naggascradle]

[autisticrosewilson]

It's not that I hate fanon or that I think fanon is inherently less intelligent or morally wrong, but a LOT of fanon is based in racism, misogyny, and classism that I feel like a lot of you accept without question.

WHY is Duke (Daredevil, son of a god, has never once allowed himself to be defined by anyone's actions but his own) relegated to a background role, only characterized by reacting to the whims of other bats?

Why is Babs - Birds of Prey leader and backbone of the hero society, tells Bruce to fuck off and die 4 times a day and is constantly ruining her relationships by being biased and unhinged - Gotham bound, the mature responsible mom of the group who never argues with Bruce and never gets in trouble?

Why is Dick, both a tactical genius and master manipulator, a himbo only appreciated for his sex appeal? Especially when he is both Romani (group of people demonized and condemned as hypersexual by their nature alone) and an SA victim.

WHY is Damian "feral" and "uncivilized" despite being raised as a literal prince? Half of you treat him like a sociopath with no hope of redemption for an unfunny three second joke and the other half of you go full throttle into Bruce's white savior bullshit so that Damian can be "redeemed". Y'know when you're not villainizing Talia and acting like Dick is his other parent, actually.

WHY is Stephanie - extremely intelligent detective who can't stand Bruce and has a living mother she loves - lumped in as another member of the Batfam, a blonde ditz who only cares about prank wars and emotionally supporting Tim?

WHY is Cass - intelligent, a grown adult, suicidal perfectionist - emotionally intelligent, primarily existing to support the characters around her, immediately accepting of everyone she meets regardless of her own morals?

Why is Bruce the golden standard? Enough so that though everyone in the fandom could agree that he's an emotionally unstable wreck, being considered "the most like him" is seen as a compliment and not the HIGHEST insult? Everyone would agree if I said that Bruce purposely self sabotages his relationship half the time and the other half he simply does things without caring about the emotional impact it will have on people because he has to be the smartest in the room, but if I said that makes him a shit partner and emotionally abusive parent the fandom would bend over backwards to argue with me.

Why is Tim "the best Robin" when Dick Grayson invented the mantle, it is impossible for someone to embody the spirit of Robin better than him because he made it and he created what being Robin means. Maybe Tim is the best in Bruce's eyes, but what Robin means and who has the right to give it over was a significant thing they argued about. Tim the high school drop out, and yet also somehow the smartest? Tim "the most like Bruce" except no he's not, that's Cass. Poor neglected, abused, victimized little Timmy (the rich boy at the elite boarding school with loving albeit busy parents and almost every instance of him being victimized by another character has either been racist bullshit - The Al Ghuls and Rose Wilson- or a complete 180 for the character that made no sense when examined through the lens of prior characterization - Jason for instance.)

Almost every fanon trope that gets passed around like gospel seems to deliberately push POC characters and women into the background and strip them of interesting complex traits and stories, usually for the purpose of fitting them all into bite sized incorrect quote character types and uncomplicated narrative roles that are not only completely divergent from canon, but primarily exist to prop up the two rich white boys.

Also the insistence that Bruce, a 20 year old at the time, should actually be excused for how much he mentally and emotionally fucked Dick up because really they're more like siblings! While deciding that Dick at the same age was actually the perfect candidate to be Damian's new parent/guardian...have you lost the fucking plot you don't even make sense to yourselves.

Okay I lied at the beginning, I do hate fanon. You guys are so uncritical about the media you consume it is BEYOND just letting people enjoy things and have fun. I guess it's one thing if you KNOW this stuff isn't canon and UNDERSTAND why these tropes are problematic and you engage with it as such, it's fine read and write what you want, but just spreading the same nonsense around and parading it around as "better than canon" (version of the character so bland and boring you've somehow made the old white men at DC look like geniuses in the art of representation) is just infuriating.

[tallykale]

a bit of my postcanon vision

i heart people arguing

[nellasbookplanet]

In the wake of FCG' fate I've been thinking about death in ttrpgs, and how it kind of exists on three levels:

There’s the gameplay level, where it only makes sense for a combat-heavy, pc-based game to have a tool for resurrection because the characters are going to die a lot and players get attached to them and their plotlines.

Then there’s the narrative level, where you sort of need permanent death on occasion so as not to lose all tension and realism. On this level, sometimes the player will let their character remain dead because they find it more interesting despite there being options of resurrection, or maybe the dice simply won’t allow the resurrection to succeed.

Then, of course, there’s the in-universe level, which is the one that really twists my mind. This is a world where actual resurrection of the actual dead is entirely obtainable, often without any ill effects (I mean, they'll be traumatized, but unless you ask a necromancer to do the resurrection they won’t come back as a zombie or vampire or otherwise wrong). It’s so normal that many adventurers will have gone through it multiple times. Like, imagine actually living in a world where all that keeps you from getting a missing loved one back is the funds to buy a diamond and hire a cleric. As viewers we felt that of course Pike should bring Laudna, a complete stranger, back when asked, but how often does she get this question? How many parents have come and begged her to return their child to them? How many lovers lost but still within reach? When and how does she decide who she saves and who she doesn’t?

From this perspective, I feel like every other adventurer should have the motive/backstory of 'I lost a loved one and am working to obtain the level of power/wealth to get them back'. But of course this is a game, and resurrection is just a game mechanic meant to be practically useful.

Anyway. A story-based actual play kind of has to find a way to balance these three levels. From a narrative perspective letting FCG remain dead makes sense, respects their sacrifice, and ends their arc on a highlight. From a gameplay level it is possible to bring them back but a lot more complicated than a simple revivify. But on an in-universe level, when do you decide if you should let someone remain dead or not? Is the party selfish if they don’t choose to pursue his resurrection the way they did for Laudna? Do they even know, as characters, that it’s technically possible to save someone who's been blown to smithereens? Back in campaign 2, the moment the m9 gained access to higher level resurrection they went to get Molly back (and only failed because his body had been taken back by Lucien). At the end of c1, half the party were in denial about Vax and still looking for ways to save him, because they had always been able to before (and had the game continued longer it wouldn’t have surprised me had they found a way). Deanna was brought back decades after her death (and was kind of fucked up because of it). Bringing someone back could be saving them, showing them just how loved and appreciated they are. Or it could be saving you, forcing someone back from rest and peace into a world that's kept moving without them because you can’t handle the guilt of knowing you let them stay gone when you didn’t have to. How do you know? How would you ever know?

[this-is-ris]

frolic in the flowers

[canisalbus]

You mentioned before that the people who would have access to Machete's bedchamber would likely already know about Vasco. How did that come up in your mind? Did they get caught in the act or was the subject broached with enough trust? How did those people handle it? Sorry if this is a bit vague but I thought about it today and I'm very interested. :)

I think it just has to be the case, I can't imagine how they could manage to hide the fact Vasco is bunking with him from everyone, for years and years. Machete doesn't live alone, he has staff and servants who do his housekeeping and run his errands. Even if Vasco didn't stay there for any extended periods of time and snuck out the back door to avoid attention, I'm assuming at least the people who do his laundry and change his sheets would eventually detect that some sort of funny business had happened. But the number of people who are in on it is still very very small and tightly controlled. His assistant Vittorio definitely knows and helps to manage this situation, so does his personal doctor, and on top of that maybe a handful of most trusted high-ranking emplyees, which he has vetted extremely carefully and pays handsomely for their discreetness and prudence.

[intermundia]

saw this and i cannot help but think of this in the context of the jedi.

"peace doesn't mean no conflict" can be unpacked on both a personal and political level. for the individual, inner conflict is not something to be eradicated or denied. the ideology of the jedi is not the suppression of all emotions, but rather the acceptance of them and finding the wisdom that comes with that allowance. it's about cycles of conflict and resolution, identification of the problem and release from the crisis, letting go and moving forward. so inner peace is not the absence of inner life, but rather an attitude towards the fullness of it, accepted as it passes through. the jedi try not to get stuck, clinging to and warped by their passionate attachment to an outcome that fights against external reality, as that leads to suffering, not peace.

on the higher political level, the peace of the larger civilization of the republic is not the same as the suppression of all individuals and societies into a single order, or a single imposed hierarchy of power. there is inevitable conflict between people when there is difference and history, and the jedi are there to help resolve boundaries between rivals to create a wider net of tolerance that is galactic civilization. they are diplomats and problem solvers, creating a kind of emergent peace that is different than the totalitarian order of the sith. they are not trying to kill anything that doesn't obey their vision, but rather finding a vision of peace that respects all parties as best as possible.

"how you handle the instance of any conflict" is how they try to use negotiation first, understanding all different points of view and adjudicating between claims, thereby "setting boundaries, and opting for serenity over chaos." if there is violence, they finish the fight in a limited, personal way with lightsabers, keeping the scope of violence almost surgical in nature to the body politic. they are not there to impose their own vision by force, they're ones with the "emotional intelligence" and higher perspective to find the harmony in a chaotic situation.

"peace requires maturity, insight, and the power of learning beyond one's ego" which is foundational to the jedi philosophy. they are the moral authorities of the galaxy, the ones trained to resist corruption, ideally offering the most mature perspective in a room. they aspire to be impartial and fair, to see reality how it really is, and not just how they want it to be. they have to accept it all, and not cling to what can not be kept, which is a huge part of maturation. the bigger picture of the objective reality of the force is what they align themselves with, rather than trying to force reality to align with their own egos. their insight is so valuable because it's not beholden to the interests of a party inside the conflict, it's a perspective from outside, without attachment to any particular outcome—just seeking true peace, whatever that looks like for any particular context.

[astersofthesky]

The anime is still insane for this ending because what do you mean Light only WILLINGLY AND EVEN CALMLY closes his eyes after seeing his enemy/rival/equal's "ghost"???