#they bring you to acceptance
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Good evening, fellow adhd-haver here! there's... a lot of shoulds and should nots and ideas in here that dont align with your actual reality really, and just because your ideas and notions around what you want your life to look like and what you want to be doing and what you want to enjoy (or dont) come from yourself, supposedly, rather than societal frameworks around "what is the correct way to live", doesn't make your mental structure and your internal emotional landscape any less ineffective or sabotaging to you.
What you wrote has an undercurrent of frustration and hurt and it really doesn't matter whether you chose your ideas yourself or if they're social hand-downs; the things is, your mentality simply isn't lining up with your limitations and capabilities at the moment and you dont have effective methods in place yet to harness your specific strengths and weaknesses, so you just feel awful about it, which is okay. But it's not necessarily how you have to go about it.
My dishes pile up and i sometimes get moldy pans in the fridge for months on end that i forget about, and i have a hard time focusing on many things i love sometimes, and it does bring up a lot of sadness for me, but i dont see ADHD as an illness or a deficiency, it is a different set of gifts, gifts that society at large isn't generally structured to accomodate or make good use of. But they're gifts nonetheless, just misplaced. If you bring a $20k handmade japanese kitchen knife to a mechanic's shop it's gonna feel like an absolutely incoherent and useless and possibly frustrating addition to the space because the tool is not suited to the tasks and skills carried out in there and it can even get in the way and become troublesome, the japanese knife doesn't belong here. That doesn't make it any less valuable and worthy a tool, it just means it's brought to the wrong context.
I dont feel guilt or shame about my dishes piling up and i dont feel bad about the dust on my desk or the fact that i can't focus on my favourite stuff, even though i want to, because i know that while i might feel shitty about these things sometimes, i also have gifts that fit perfectly in their right contexts and i can enjoy them there, and the frustration means i gotta switch, even if it's just for 10 minutes. Bring the japanese kitchen knife to kitchen and you feel fucking good about how well it works and how much it makes cooking easier and more efficient and how much the whole endeavor brings you joy.
It's absolutely alright if you havent found a kitchen where your knife fits yet, it takes time, and you need contexts where the knife fits. It makes the sadness you experience over not being able to attend to your other wants and shoulds and should nots easier. And yep, there's sadness and anger and grief in it. But that doesn't mean that all you have is an illness or deficiency. You're not a problem, you're severely misplaced in your environment, and it brings up so much frustration and it's okay to feel sad about it. Keep what you want to do, but you can also find where your gifs do belong and enjoy applying them there. It's not a this OR that situation, it's this AND that. You're gonna feel bad about sometimes not being able to focus on stuff you love, AND you're gonna apply your strengths in other situations where they're needed and appreciated and where it brings you joy.
I don't strictly "like" taking ADHD meds, the comedown is awful and they play havoc on my appetite. But I kinda need them. I write software for a living. Software requires a great deal of focus that I simply cannot muster up off my meds. If I didn't have my meds, I would lose my job.
Part of this can be blamed on the cruelties of our modern capitalistic system. If the world understood my condition better, maybe I would not need to take stimulants to survive. I read an article once that really went all in on the idea that ADHD's negative perception is a symptom of perception, not an objective truth. Maybe people with ADHD are just as capable, but they do things in a different way to neurotypicals. Maybe all we need is better support, and social solutions, and more understanding of the different way that ADHDers think.
Which is all very compelling. Except.
I often find myself procrastinating activities that I want to do. My apartment has been accumulating dust because I keep forgetting to vacuum. One time I let the dishes in my sink stack too high and it was months before I could get myself to clean the mould off them. The demands of capitalism mean I need to software to pay rent, but sometimes I just want to do software, and no amount of narrative reframing or social support will clear the noise in my head long enough to let me focus on the code.
The notion that ADHD isn't a deficiency, just a different way of thinking, is something I find condescending. The implication here is I shouldn't have to write software, I should be given a different job, and I shouldn't have to maintain my own apartment, I should have the support of my community coming into my room and cleaning my things. But what if I want to do those things? What if I like software, or the privacy of an atomised existence? Maybe society has no right to decide what the correct way to live my life is, but surely I do!
The reason it sucks that it's hard for me to keep my dishes clean is not because the world says so, it is because I say so. It is because sometimes I want to be able to remember to do things and it sucks that I cannot live my life in the way that I want.
#and re: narrative reframing and social support#again; you just havent found the narratives that fit the needs of your particular framework and are foundational enough yet#because the right ones for you will absolutely help you to not stick to mental images and ideas that dont serve your current reality#they bring you to acceptance#not acceptance as in defeat and compromise#acceptance as in; you grow around what you deem deficiency and find out that you just exist. as a person within your own framework#different framework but one that works for you. and you feel less grief about it#i sincerely hope that the reblog doesn't come off as dissmissive or condescending#i tried my best to word it in the kindest way i know how to word things#because i know the pain it brings up to not being able to focus the way you want#but you dont have a deficiency; you're just an individual struggling with finding what works for you. and it hurts.#and it's more than okay to struggle.#dont forget your gifts just because you struggle with other stuff; they're there too ❤️#find your kitchen. go back to it whenever you can.#There are a lot of hobbies and tasks that greatly benefit from adhd people's level of multitasking;#you can keep track of a lot of details at the same time#you need rich and stimulating and multidimentional contexts with a lot of details#You think fast and you absorb a lot of data even when you're not paying attention. fast paced tasks suit you more than the average person.#and again; this is not to say that it wont feel horrible when you can't seem to do stuff you want to do;#but. playing your strengths helps you shed the frustration so much easier#adhd#adhd problems#adhd tips#on psychology
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"Now, the vow will be honoured, and my Lord brother's soul will return."
Radahn stans keep winning, but I personally am in Miyazaki's walls rn
#my art#shadow of the erdtree spoilers#sote spoilers#shadow of the erdtree#elden ring#godwyn prince of death#godwyn the golden#miquella the kind#miquella the unalloyed#promised consort radahn#fromsoft#i do not think critiques of radahn are as shallow as “pay $40 to fight a boss we already fought”#the dlc is good right up until the final boss#most of the new bosses are good#i loved midra and metyr and messmer and the dancing lion#radahn as consort just comes completely out of left field and just seems like a huge disconnect between the dlc and base game#radahn's story was done with the festival#and it's a good end! i like the festival and the base game radhan fight#but here he shows up again out of nowhere when godwyn is the obvious choice and a godwyn boss fight would be new and interesting#you can even still have your villain miquella story#puppeting his brother's living-but-soulless corpse unable to accept#that just because godwyn is breathing and follows his command like a deprecated computer program#even godhood can't bring his brother's soul back#his body must be slain and he must die a true death#we could have at least gotten a line of dialogue from radahn but nope#ok rant over#this pic is sloppy but idc#no cleanup we die like men#yes i know miquella's model technically has only three arms but i gave him four bc three looks silly
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there is, famously, a huge amount of social pressure on gnc cis people to transition. society just wants more trans people, trans women especially. this is a real and serious problem. there are just too many trans women making egg jokes. we have to protect the poor cis people from being compared to us (which is clearly and self evidently a horrible thing to do clearly)
#juney.txt#I'm gonna drink lighter fluid#are the people calling every single gnc cis person they see an egg in the room with us right now?#this is not a real thing that happens but if it was it wouldn't be a thing worth taking seriously#you people just found a sociably acceptable way to act like trans women are oppressing cis people#so you can Heroically Tell Them Off or whatever#over fucking *nothing*#I hope every single cis man wakes up tomorrow in a basement with an estrogen needle stuck in their vein#especially if they're gnc#oh god I just realised why they constantly bring that up in this stupid hypothetical#it's to give the hypothetical cis person an aura of queerness.#so that disrespecting their gendernonconformity#by suggesting they might actually not be a guy who is fem (queering it) but rather a gal who is fem#becomes some kind of queerphobic erasure#it's trying to reframe things to make it look like trans people even talking about the idea of eggs is Punching Down against other queer ppl#God fucking damn it
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I wholeheartedly believe that the last thing that should be said in response to aspecs hating their identity is "don't worry! Aspecs can still do X, Y, and Z" and I'm so fucking serious about this.
The least helpful thing you can do to someone who have not accepted their aspec identity yet is give them ways to compensate for it. If an aspec person is upset over not being able to enter a romantic relationship, the last thing that should be done is to tell them they can still enter one or instead enter a QPR - not because that's not true but because that is quite literally going to stunt their ability to accept their aspec identity. Telling them they can instead enter a QPR when they're upset over the lack of romantic relationships is at MOST a bandaid for the main issue. Instead of them coming to accept their identity and accept who they are you have instead handed them an amatonormative alternative on a silver platter that allows them to pretend they still fit into amatonormativity without every deconstructing it. This is how we get QPRs getting shoved into an amatonormative framework - these people NEVER got over the "I'm sad that I'm aspec" phase because they were handed alternatives instead of given actual support in deconstructing their internalized aphobia, self hatred, and amatonormative biases.
#text#aspec#aro#aromantic#ace#asexual#aroace#I'm not saying that bringing up the fact that aspecs can still interact in certain ways to be Bad or Wrong btw#I'm not saying we shouldn't talk about how some aspecs have sex or some have partnerships or whatever#but more just that the only response to people complaining about certain issues shouldn't only be “Oh but you can do x”#someone who is mourning the fact they dont fit into amatonormativity shouldn't be told “oh but you can fit into amatonormativity”#Like idk maybe there should be a discussion about how many people use favorability and partnering to avoid properly healing?#maybe there should be a discussion about how often people only accept aspec identities based on how closely they fit amatonormativity?#maybe there is a discussion about how other aspecs play into that and never actually leave their “sad to be aspec” phase#the fact so many can only “accept” their aspec identity when they are told that they can still partake in amatonormativity#like idk i feel like discussions can be had here and i think these sorts of discussions need to be had#especially if we ever want to be on the same page when it comes to dismantling amatonormativity
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please do kinich?
[KINICH X OBLIVIOUS READER]
In which you misunderstand his need to pay you back. ♡
→ Loading game data
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“ψ (`∇´) ψ
Again, Kinich left to the peaks of Coatepec Mountain for the 10th time this week. It’s like he took on 10 times his usual rate of commission with how much he has been away recently. At first, you thought that maybe he lowered his prices and now people were flooding him with tasks and errands he could do fast and efficiently- but after speaking with the tribe members of the Scions of the Canopy, you learned this was not the truth at all. In fact, Kinich was quite free of commissions as of late- with the arrival of new friendly faces from afar and their low rates for their own charges. So why was he leaving so terribly often? It was like every time you went to see him, he would leave in a matter of hours. This left you two options.
Option 1: He was tending to a personal matter. Though unlikely, he could be out gathering supplies for a personal project or event for himself. He definitely wasn’t the type, though- especially with how much Ajaw had been complaining as of late. So that left you with option 2: He was avoiding you.
It was strange, you thought, that he left after you would go visit him. Ever since you hired him for a simple commission of gathering Quenepa berries- you felt like you two had become good friends over the weeks. However his disappearances were more and more frequent.
The first time you noticed it after you had come to visit him after a commission that had him away for 2 days. He had come back with scrapes and scratches so you helped him bandage his wounds to make sure they weren’t infected, as you didn’t mind helping him. But then he left a few hours later and returned late at night with Quenepa berries for you. You assumed it was to excuse what he had really been doing, whatever the case.
So it became a strange routine. He would take a commission, you would visit him after and bandage his wounds- gently wrapping his tanned skin in soft cloth and ailment to keep from infection and then he would leave once again before bringing you foraged materials like flowers or berries or even brilliant chrysanthemum. It was an odd behavior to you and to fellow Scion tribe members. Some suggested that he was avoiding you, while some just said to leave it be since Kinich was quite respected in his tribe and no one wanted to get in his bad graces by spreading such rumors, especially to someone he might consider a friend.
So all that was left was you to your thoughts. It didn’t help that you still had this stuck on your mind while you were bandaging Kinich’s torso from his most recent commission where he had run to an antagonized Saurian and gotten quite the scratch on his stomach from it. Although the moment felt very intimate, you were too distracted to notice Kinich’s heart racing under your touch.
“AURGH!! Why must we go out AGAIN, Kinich?! The Great K’uhul Ajaw has MUCH better things to be doing than lugging around with our lowly servant all the time!”
Kinich was still a little dazed from you bandaging his stomach wound just 2 hours before, but was conscious enough to tune out Ajaw per usual- including the sharp yelp he made when Kinich grabbed his tail mid-air to scout the area for materials.
“What should I repay them with this time…?”
Perhaps in his mind, paying his dues to you would encourage you to take care of him more often… at least, it seemed to be working so far.
— Written by Booh ♡
#genshin x reader#genshin impact#wholesome#i will commit heinous atrocities#kinich and ajaw#kinich#natlan#scions of the canopy#misunderstandings#oblivious reader#kinich x reader#this man istg#Husband material#marry me already#On one knee#I can’t in good conscience accept it for free#His voice lines at the end of the scions quest#Ajaw being Ajaw#Rotten to the core#Hysterically evil#I love Kinich#Kinich bringing you gifts#To pay you back#short oneshot#again
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Has AJ and Chester ever secretly talked to each other about how off it feels with ‘Timmy’ after he came back? Do they wonder why he is so odd even though he is in general the same?
They can’t question it much, right? Since it IS Timmy. Just not the same Timmy they used to know.
They've had discussions. AJ and Chester has picked up how Timmy's... changed somewhat. He doesn't initiate conversations as often, he doesn't create schemes as he used to, and worst of all- Timmy doesn't laugh at their jokes!!!
But his cheer and optimism has never left, and he's still overeager to do all sorts of things with them!!! AJ and Chester chalks it up to Timmy growing up faster than they are. They did their best to slow him down to their pace though.
Bitties Series: [Start] > [Previous] > [Next]
#fairly oddparents#fop#fop a new wish#fop timmy turner#fop timmy#timmy turner#fop aj#fop chester#fop chester mcbadbat#chester mcbadbat#chimmy changa#asks#snsp6#itty bitties fop au#whenever timmy falls into weird lulls aj and chester like. goes ALL OUT to try and bring the 'Timmy' back to him#timmy cant understand their jokes? they just gotta make BIGGER jokes!!!!#timmy cant seem to get why the crimson chin does X in the comics?#time for them to dress up and play crimson chin in the backyard!!!!!#it doesnt take much to get him back to normal but they go all out anyways#part of growing up is accepting that you change and become someone different#aj and chester had to learn this the hard way with timmy as they got older#but another part of growing up is learning to accept that you're still you!!!#which is also what they had to learn with timmy#he may be different now but he's still their friend and he's still timmy turner#at least in the ways that matters to them
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a bit of my postcanon vision
i heart people arguing
#hfjone#bryce hansen#amelia euler#my art#i have beef with post-canon one stuff that just insta-fixes everything without really hashing out how some of these people could#get horrifically angry at each other... not that i think their relationships can or should be ruined forever i would just like to explore#how badly the boys treated amelia IF YOU THINK ABOUUUTT ITTTTTT#sure stone was the one to intentionally exclude her from the team but bryce+liam dont really do much to actually bring her in the loop#even when liam had months and months to tell her. he simply didnt tell her at any point what stone said about the votes being fake#and i dont knowwww i want to see amelia's tendency to lose herself in really maladaptive acceptance butt up against bryce and his like...#eagerness to leave everything behind. You understand me. you get it. anyway i have a few thousand words kicking around that will probably#never be finished or published but trust me I THINK ABOUT IT. A LOT
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It's not that I hate fanon or that I think fanon is inherently less intelligent or morally wrong, but a LOT of fanon is based in racism, misogyny, and classism that I feel like a lot of you accept without question.
WHY is Duke (Daredevil, son of a god, has never once allowed himself to be defined by anyone's actions but his own) relegated to a background role, only characterized by reacting to the whims of other bats?
Why is Babs - Birds of Prey leader and backbone of the hero society, tells Bruce to fuck off and die 4 times a day and is constantly ruining her relationships by being biased and unhinged - Gotham bound, the mature responsible mom of the group who never argues with Bruce and never gets in trouble?
Why is Dick, both a tactical genius and master manipulator, a himbo only appreciated for his sex appeal? Especially when he is both Romani (group of people demonized and condemned as hypersexual by their nature alone) and an SA victim.
WHY is Damian "feral" and "uncivilized" despite being raised as a literal prince? Half of you treat him like a sociopath with no hope of redemption for an unfunny three second joke and the other half of you go full throttle into Bruce's white savior bullshit so that Damian can be "redeemed". Y'know when you're not villainizing Talia and acting like Dick is his other parent, actually.
WHY is Stephanie - extremely intelligent detective who can't stand Bruce and has a living mother she loves - lumped in as another member of the Batfam, a blonde ditz who only cares about prank wars and emotionally supporting Tim?
WHY is Cass - intelligent, a grown adult, suicidal perfectionist - emotionally intelligent, primarily existing to support the characters around her, immediately accepting of everyone she meets regardless of her own morals?
Why is Bruce the golden standard? Enough so that though everyone in the fandom could agree that he's an emotionally unstable wreck, being considered "the most like him" is seen as a compliment and not the HIGHEST insult? Everyone would agree if I said that Bruce purposely self sabotages his relationship half the time and the other half he simply does things without caring about the emotional impact it will have on people because he has to be the smartest in the room, but if I said that makes him a shit partner and emotionally abusive parent the fandom would bend over backwards to argue with me.
Why is Tim "the best Robin" when Dick Grayson invented the mantle, it is impossible for someone to embody the spirit of Robin better than him because he made it and he created what being Robin means. Maybe Tim is the best in Bruce's eyes, but what Robin means and who has the right to give it over was a significant thing they argued about. Tim the high school drop out, and yet also somehow the smartest? Tim "the most like Bruce" except no he's not, that's Cass. Poor neglected, abused, victimized little Timmy (the rich boy at the elite boarding school with loving albeit busy parents and almost every instance of him being victimized by another character has either been racist bullshit - The Al Ghuls and Rose Wilson- or a complete 180 for the character that made no sense when examined through the lens of prior characterization - Jason for instance.)
Almost every fanon trope that gets passed around like gospel seems to deliberately push POC characters and women into the background and strip them of interesting complex traits and stories, usually for the purpose of fitting them all into bite sized incorrect quote character types and uncomplicated narrative roles that are not only completely divergent from canon, but primarily exist to prop up the two rich white boys.
Also the insistence that Bruce, a 20 year old at the time, should actually be excused for how much he mentally and emotionally fucked Dick up because really they're more like siblings! While deciding that Dick at the same age was actually the perfect candidate to be Damian's new parent/guardian...have you lost the fucking plot you don't even make sense to yourselves.
Okay I lied at the beginning, I do hate fanon. You guys are so uncritical about the media you consume it is BEYOND just letting people enjoy things and have fun. I guess it's one thing if you KNOW this stuff isn't canon and UNDERSTAND why these tropes are problematic and you engage with it as such, it's fine read and write what you want, but just spreading the same nonsense around and parading it around as "better than canon" (version of the character so bland and boring you've somehow made the old white men at DC look like geniuses in the art of representation) is just infuriating.
#I didn't talk about Jason because every other post I make is about how bad fanon has fucked him up#and I would have mentioned Helena but honestly her being pushed out of the family is more a matter of people not reading comics#I wouldn't consider Jason her “replacement” accept in the moral philosophy department#wherein Helena feels an inherent guilt that Jason simply doesn't#and while Helena is firmly an anti hero Jason is willing to kill heroes if it means accomplishing his goals#I do think there's something to be said about his fanon relationship to Bruce and Cass#that directly replaces Helena's actual canon relationships though#If any of you bring up the Catholic Jason headcanon I'll kill you#I made posts about that already she did not trademark Catholicism#dc#canon vs fanon#bruce wayne#dick grayson#damian wayne#stephanie brown#cassandra cain#Barbara Gordon#duke thomas#tim drake#It IS really weird how you guys keep giving Bette Kanes actual canon identity to random people#like damn you couldn't even do a cursory Google search before you gave Wally or Tim or w/e her mantle
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i have one video i've been wanting to make about a certain splatoon lore topic so badly for some years now and i wanna do it soon. but every time i think about it i can feel myself going insane. there's so much i need to say. how do i structure this in a way that makes sense. does it even make sense at all. to me? god help me
#rassicas speaks#spoilers: yep its the water thing.#stares haggardly at mirror with my hands white knuckle gripping on the sides of the bathroom sink. splashes water in my face#i feel like ive cracked open a fucking conspiracy. ITS ALL CONNECTED ITS ALL FUCKING CONNECTEDDDDD I FEEL INSANE#stares at my corkboard with strings. punches wall#the water weakness is not as stupid and disjointed as everyone thinks and i have to prove it.#the disconnect between the west and JP in terms of acceptance of the water weakness lore is fucking insane#there's a video from a edutainment quiz youtuber in JP. not a splatuber mind you. that talks about osmosis and how it connects to inklings#the canon explanation mind you. this video has a million views!!!#a million fucking views!! its a video for casuals!! everyone knows inklings canonically die in water and the reason is related to osmosis!!#meanwhile if you bring up the concept of inklings dying in water on the western side with hopes to theorize according to canon lore#and i will. present the dev interview that outright confirms the reason is related to osmosis.#u know what happens. um actually they only die in fresh water! um no they dont die in water they just cant swim! DO U KNOW HOW INSANE I FEE#jp side has been speculating on how the osmosis thing actually works on inkling biology for years#and the english side cant even get over the hurdle that the water weakness is like. real undeniable canon#like i get that info is less accessible here. as i will prove. in my video eventually.#but holy fuck it makes me crazyyyyy when i actually do present stuff and ppl cover their ears anyway. this has happened a lot.
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#asoiaf#a song of ice and fire#valyrianscrolls#i feel like i see people bring up this line all tje time to criticize theon and call him awful but its like.#the most blatant obvious line where he looks in the camera and says Haha My Dad Would Beat Me and Call Me Names. Fathers Do That!#and its like. oh my fucking god i knowww . I KNOW people think hes annoying or a piece of shit and he is atrocious dont get me wrong but#hes literally the most blatant metaphor of how abuse can affect a person into who they are#like no shit sherlock he desperately wants the starks to accept him. his actual dad would fucking beat him and he got taken outta that home#and placed in a new one where like one guy liked him as a friend but everyone else was kinda cold#<- WOAH! a metaphor about the foster care system and the way it affects a person.#like fucking obviously he bends over backward to try to get the approval of his peers or have fatherly approval#What else did you expect. Why do you think he makes all those choices ramsay suggests to him about trying to#get the respect of all of his men. he doesnt want to lose the respect. like.#Okay. Done now thank you#grace post
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In the wake of FCG' fate I've been thinking about death in ttrpgs, and how it kind of exists on three levels:
There’s the gameplay level, where it only makes sense for a combat-heavy, pc-based game to have a tool for resurrection because the characters are going to die a lot and players get attached to them and their plotlines.
Then there’s the narrative level, where you sort of need permanent death on occasion so as not to lose all tension and realism. On this level, sometimes the player will let their character remain dead because they find it more interesting despite there being options of resurrection, or maybe the dice simply won’t allow the resurrection to succeed.
Then, of course, there’s the in-universe level, which is the one that really twists my mind. This is a world where actual resurrection of the actual dead is entirely obtainable, often without any ill effects (I mean, they'll be traumatized, but unless you ask a necromancer to do the resurrection they won’t come back as a zombie or vampire or otherwise wrong). It’s so normal that many adventurers will have gone through it multiple times. Like, imagine actually living in a world where all that keeps you from getting a missing loved one back is the funds to buy a diamond and hire a cleric. As viewers we felt that of course Pike should bring Laudna, a complete stranger, back when asked, but how often does she get this question? How many parents have come and begged her to return their child to them? How many lovers lost but still within reach? When and how does she decide who she saves and who she doesn’t?
From this perspective, I feel like every other adventurer should have the motive/backstory of 'I lost a loved one and am working to obtain the level of power/wealth to get them back'. But of course this is a game, and resurrection is just a game mechanic meant to be practically useful.
Anyway. A story-based actual play kind of has to find a way to balance these three levels. From a narrative perspective letting FCG remain dead makes sense, respects their sacrifice, and ends their arc on a highlight. From a gameplay level it is possible to bring them back but a lot more complicated than a simple revivify. But on an in-universe level, when do you decide if you should let someone remain dead or not? Is the party selfish if they don’t choose to pursue his resurrection the way they did for Laudna? Do they even know, as characters, that it’s technically possible to save someone who's been blown to smithereens? Back in campaign 2, the moment the m9 gained access to higher level resurrection they went to get Molly back (and only failed because his body had been taken back by Lucien). At the end of c1, half the party were in denial about Vax and still looking for ways to save him, because they had always been able to before (and had the game continued longer it wouldn’t have surprised me had they found a way). Deanna was brought back decades after her death (and was kind of fucked up because of it). Bringing someone back could be saving them, showing them just how loved and appreciated they are. Or it could be saving you, forcing someone back from rest and peace into a world that's kept moving without them because you can’t handle the guilt of knowing you let them stay gone when you didn’t have to. How do you know? How would you ever know?
#cr spoilers#sometimes i think about how oryms backstory has it baked in that will was magically impossible to bring back#while yasha was simply not powerful enough in either magic or connections to bring zuala back#and by the time she was years had gone by and yasha had moved on and bringing zuala back would've been cruel and selfish#similar to how deanna was brought back but now she was left behind and alone#speaking of could you ever truly move on from grief in a world like that?#how do you accept the inevitability of death when it isn’t necessarily permanent?#no wonder delilah and sylas went evil to keep each other alive#no wonder laerryn accidentally caused the calamity in trying to break through the planes#the hubris of a world like this would be UNREAL#as would the bitter feelings from everyone who knows this power exists but can’t access it bc they’re like. a farmer#critical role#long post#nella talks cr#cr3 spoilers
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frolic in the flowers
#ffxiv gpose#ffxiv screenshots#ris dei ijla#ffxiv oc#ffxiv viera#gposers#ffxiv whm#please accept this soft bnuy#she is otw to bring you some fresh flowers!
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chengxian’s orpheus and eurydice motifs are going to slowly drive me to the brink of insanity but i’m cool with it
#chengxian#jc coming to find wwx at the burial mounds is orpheus-coded but he's not the most orpheus-coded out of the two#it's obviously wwx's who's a musician and who's admired for his many talents#he's also the one who defies death the most out of the two. wwx doesn't accept death (unless it's his own) whereas jc is always put in the#position of having to. accept it. and yet not move on.#eurydice has the whole snake motif going on since she got bitten by one#(so that's jc and zidian obvs)#that whole scene reads as 'i'm coming to pull you out of the underworld and bring you back to life (home)'#but then the answer is 'actually i've made a home out of death' and#AND the fact that wwx still tries to carve yunmeng into the soil of that home#to make lotus grow!! in this weird underworld situation!!#and the fact that when jc appears in the scene wwx comes up to him and tries to drag him by the hand#further into the burial mounds!! roles reversed!!#anyways bark bark bite bite i am indeed on the brink of insanity#i just live for motifs and symbols. actually.
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You mentioned before that the people who would have access to Machete's bedchamber would likely already know about Vasco. How did that come up in your mind? Did they get caught in the act or was the subject broached with enough trust? How did those people handle it? Sorry if this is a bit vague but I thought about it today and I'm very interested. :)
I think it just has to be the case, I can't imagine how they could manage to hide the fact Vasco is bunking with him from everyone, for years and years. Machete doesn't live alone, he has staff and servants who do his housekeeping and run his errands. Even if Vasco didn't stay there for any extended periods of time and snuck out the back door to avoid attention, I'm assuming at least the people who do his laundry and change his sheets would eventually detect that some sort of funny business had happened. But the number of people who are in on it is still very very small and tightly controlled. His assistant Vittorio definitely knows and helps to manage this situation, so does his personal doctor, and on top of that maybe a handful of most trusted high-ranking emplyees, which he has vetted extremely carefully and pays handsomely for their discreetness and prudence.
#or something along those lines surely there has to be a way for this to work people have had secret affairs since the beginning of time#if you hire someone#or more likely promote someone you know who has worked for you for years and has proven to be trustworthy and unlikely to betray you#and there's a very high risk that that person will find out your secrets it's better to bring them to their attention yourself#in a controlled setting ahead of time#instead of waiting to see if/when you're caught and not knowing how they will react#right?#and his private quarters are indeed private you don't go snooping in there without a good reason and an official permission#answered#anonymous#Vaschete lore#Vasco hanging around there often probably isn't an immediate red flag it's a big house and people can have friends and guests#plus at the time it was generally more common and accepted for two men to be close friends and openly attached to each other platonically#it's sunday morning and I'm awake trying to piece together the practical logistics of#maintaining an undercover long term relationship between two 16th century statesmen
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saw this and i cannot help but think of this in the context of the jedi.
"peace doesn't mean no conflict" can be unpacked on both a personal and political level. for the individual, inner conflict is not something to be eradicated or denied. the ideology of the jedi is not the suppression of all emotions, but rather the acceptance of them and finding the wisdom that comes with that allowance. it's about cycles of conflict and resolution, identification of the problem and release from the crisis, letting go and moving forward. so inner peace is not the absence of inner life, but rather an attitude towards the fullness of it, accepted as it passes through. the jedi try not to get stuck, clinging to and warped by their passionate attachment to an outcome that fights against external reality, as that leads to suffering, not peace.
on the higher political level, the peace of the larger civilization of the republic is not the same as the suppression of all individuals and societies into a single order, or a single imposed hierarchy of power. there is inevitable conflict between people when there is difference and history, and the jedi are there to help resolve boundaries between rivals to create a wider net of tolerance that is galactic civilization. they are diplomats and problem solvers, creating a kind of emergent peace that is different than the totalitarian order of the sith. they are not trying to kill anything that doesn't obey their vision, but rather finding a vision of peace that respects all parties as best as possible.
"how you handle the instance of any conflict" is how they try to use negotiation first, understanding all different points of view and adjudicating between claims, thereby "setting boundaries, and opting for serenity over chaos." if there is violence, they finish the fight in a limited, personal way with lightsabers, keeping the scope of violence almost surgical in nature to the body politic. they are not there to impose their own vision by force, they're ones with the "emotional intelligence" and higher perspective to find the harmony in a chaotic situation.
"peace requires maturity, insight, and the power of learning beyond one's ego" which is foundational to the jedi philosophy. they are the moral authorities of the galaxy, the ones trained to resist corruption, ideally offering the most mature perspective in a room. they aspire to be impartial and fair, to see reality how it really is, and not just how they want it to be. they have to accept it all, and not cling to what can not be kept, which is a huge part of maturation. the bigger picture of the objective reality of the force is what they align themselves with, rather than trying to force reality to align with their own egos. their insight is so valuable because it's not beholden to the interests of a party inside the conflict, it's a perspective from outside, without attachment to any particular outcome—just seeking true peace, whatever that looks like for any particular context.
#lack of ego brings the insight necessary for peace#lack of ego is not the same as lack of emotion#it's lack of brittle resistance to reality#accepting and letting go to let peace emerge#you know?#jedi order#sw#sw meta
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The anime is still insane for this ending because what do you mean Light only WILLINGLY AND EVEN CALMLY closes his eyes after seeing his enemy/rival/equal's "ghost"???
#death note#lawlight#light hallucinates L's ghost seconds before his death and he CALMLY EFFIN DIES#if your greatest enemy that caused your downfall brings you calmness as you die i don't know what to tell you mate#'Light. I'll see you on the other side. Let's explore the world of nothingness together.' - L Lawliet#YES L SAID THAT ACTUALLY THIS IS WHOLE MULTIVERSE OF L CHANGE THE WORLD AND THE CANON DEATH NOTE#Okay BUT what if the thought of actually SEEING L ON MU AGAIN is what makes him accept his fate ???#WAIT HERE'S A BIGGER WHAT IF#what if Light actually NEVER stopped seeing L's ghost during those 5 years but always L's eyes are being obscured by his hair#but THIS PARTICULAR MOMENT is where Light FINALLY sees L's eyes and what was supposed to be piercing just appear empathetic to him#the knowing eyes of being seen and understood#that's what makes light calmly closes his eyes
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